Spot the Issues

Can you find what's wrong with this speech?

January 23, 2025

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Hello everyone, we have another series revival for this week. Spot the Issues! In case you are unfamiliar with this series, it provides speeches from different sources and analyzes the issues and what could be done to improve them, all in under five minutes. It’s wonderful practice. Are you ready?

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The following piece was generated by Google’s generative AI, “Grok.” It was given instructions to write a piece that fits the criteria of the NSDA category Great Speeches; let’s take a look:

"Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed judges, I stand before you today not to offer solutions but to ignite a fire within you. A fire of introspection. For in the crucible of our discourse, our words, those ephemeral wisps of sound, carry a weight far greater than we often acknowledge. They are not mere echoes but architects of reality.

We wield words like weapons, capable of both uplifting and eviscerating. A single phrase carelessly uttered can shatter confidence, sow seeds of doubt, and leave scars that fester long after the initial sting. Conversely, a well-chosen word, a carefully crafted sentence, can mend broken spirits, ignite hope, and inspire greatness.

But what of the words we consume? The constant barrage of information, the cacophony of voices, the echo chambers we willingly confine ourselves to? Do we truly listen, or do we merely wait for our turn to speak, eager to inject our own opinions into the swirling vortex of discourse?

We must become more discerning consumers of information and more critical thinkers. We must learn to sift through the noise, to identify bias, to question assumptions. We must cultivate empathy and understand the perspectives of those who differ from us, to engage in dialogue rather than debate.

For in the tapestry of our society, each thread, each word, contributes to the overall pattern. And if we allow negativity, intolerance, and disrespect to dominate our discourse, the fabric of our community will inevitably fray, and the bonds that hold us together will begin to unravel.

Let us choose our words wisely. Let us speak with intention. Let us listen with empathy. Let us strive to create a world where words uplift, inspire, and unite, rather than divide and destroy."

Wow! That was a lot. You certainly have many concerns with this speech—we do too! 😅 Let’s go over some issues with the speech

Issues

General Concerns:

  • Vagueness: The speech relies on abstract concepts like "weight of words," "architect of reality," and "swirling vortex of discourse." Sure, these phrases sound poetic, but they lack concrete examples and specific applications.

  • Focus: The speech bounces between several ideas (the power of words, the need for introspection, etc.) without fully developing any single one. In order for this speech to be impactful, it HAS to narrow the focus and give us the big picture.

  • Flow: The transitions between ideas could be smoother. e.g., the shift from the power of words to the concept of consuming information critically feels abrupt. Adding clear connections would help.

More Specifics:

“Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed judges, ( 💀 ) I stand before you today not to offer solutions but to ignite a fire within you. A fire of introspection. For in the crucible of our discourse, our words, those ephemeral wisps of sound, carry a weight far greater than we often acknowledge. They are not mere echoes but architects of reality.”

Yikes….

The introduction is complex and filled with fluff that could easily be cut off for a simpler speech that your audience can understand. It feels overly dramatic and over-the-top. Try to avoid that complexity and over-the-top tone it has. This is true with the rest of the speech as well. It is filled with fluff and redundancy.

Remember:

Good writers think about what they can add to their writing.
Great writers think about what they can remove from their writing.

Gemini really should have been thinking about how it was going to connect that word salad to it’s audience’s beliefs, values, and needs

Beliefs: Beliefs are the convictions or attitudes individuals or groups hold about certain topics or issues.
e.g. The parents believe social media is harming their children.

Values:  Values are the principles or standards individuals deem important. Identifying the values of your audience will always involve recognizing what they prioritize and hold dear to the topic at hand.
e.g. The parents value their children’s safety.

Needs: Needs refer to the requirements or desires individuals or groups seek to fulfill or address. These needs can be practical or emotional. They essentially are what the audience needs to understand and connect to your argument or piece.
e.g. The parents need a solution to help with digital safety.

Well, that’s all for this series. Do well to not be like Gemini. That is all

Happy Speaking,

The Forensic Funnel Team

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